“That is your problem.”; “Stop complaining!”; “What are you going to do to fix it?”; “Figure it out yourself.”; “Stop bitching and fix it.”; “I don’t want to hear your problems.”; “Just do it.”; “What do you want me to do about it?”; “I didn’t make you feel anything, you’re the one being emotional.”; “Sounds like you just need to “man up”.”
All of these phrases I have heard throughout my life. Starting as a young child on the playground. Many of them I have heard in my relationships with others. Whether it was friendships, family, or romantic relationships. I heard many of these during my 8 year marriage.
In our culture there is this message that is being sent to little boys, who become grown men, about their feelings, emotions, their heart. The message is “real men don’t need feelings, emotions, or their heart.” Continue reading “Allowing Masculine Emotional Expression”
Written by: John Glass
On my flight back from visiting with family I overheard a conversation between two women behind me. I was really eavesdropping. As an observer of human behavior I do that from time to time.
The conversation caught my interest because the two woman were discussing different men that they had been talking to. I heard one say, “He just needs to man up and be a real man.” That got my attention real quick. I actually laughed out loud in my seat when I heard that.
I thought, “A real man. What does that even mean?”
I identify as a man. I have man parts. I am real. So, what does it mean to be a “real man” Continue reading “The Messages We Are Sending Our Young Men”
written by: John Glass
I have found that the hardest thing to forgive myself for is being a man in today’s society. Let me tell you why.
Many of us men grew up with our mothers being our primary caretaker. We also, were taught from grade school through college by female teachers. For this reason, we lacked guidance from men in our lives.
For instance, in one of my college classes on family violence the professor talked endlessly about how men abuse and/or rape. They would bring up all these statistics about the rates of violence and rape. One day after class I jokingly said to a peer, “Seems like this professor thinks that 50% of men abuse and 50% of men rape. Which one are we?” Continue reading “Hardest Thing To Forgive Myself For”