I want you to use your imagination for a minute. Imagine that you are at a coffee shop. You see an attractive person of interest sitting reading a book. Your mind begins to race with all the things you could possibly say to this person to get their attention. You work up the courage. You are feeling hyped and positive about this interaction. You walk up to her. She glances up and sees you. You greet her with a slight smile. She smiles back. You say, “Hi.” and introduce yourself. She says, “Hi, not interested.”
What feelings are coming up for you? What thoughts are coming up for you? What would you do?
Yes, this might sound like an extreme form of rejection, but I know this has happened to a number of us guys. Continue reading “Overcoming Sensitivity to Rejection”
I pride myself on being a great communicator. Over the years I have mastered the craft of communication through my experiences and practice. My communication abilities have opened up many doors of opportunity and have also gotten me out of some really uncomfortable situations.
Ever since I was a kid, I was enthusiastic about talking and connecting with others. I was extremely outgoing and did not shy away from anyone. I was involved in musical theater growing up, which helped me become comfortable speaking in front of large groups. It became easy to speak in front of anyone from any walk of life.
Now in adulthood, I have accumulated over 10 years of sales experience. During these 10 years, I work face to face with customers, each with their own unique story. It has taught me valuable skills that not only make me successful in my career, but also my personal life.
Now as a Life Coach, I specialize in communication. It is essential to be effective at my job. With clients, I model effective communication skills, which not only helps build a positive relationship with them, but also lays the groundwork for them to become excellent communicators themselves.
Now you may be asking yourself, why is communication so important? I communicate all the time. Well, of course we all communicate. It is unavoidable in the world we live in. However, we can all use more effective communication skills. Continue reading “Becoming A Master Communicator”
It was the summer of 2000. I was driving to the continuation school that I had to attend in order to earn my general education diploma. You see I had failed my senior English class. Not because I did the work and failed, but because I stopped showing up for class.
As I was driving I was reflecting up my life. I was trying to define who I am as a person. Trying to figure out how I see myself. The question that we all try to answer, “Who am I?” Continue reading “Learning To Be Authentically Vulnerable”
Written by: Jeffrey Craig
As a kid, I was a lot more fearless than I gave myself credit for. I remember riding my bike off a 10-foot dirt ramp because it looked fun. I recall standing on a lunch table in front of my whole school and professing my love for my second grade crush. I remember going up to bat in little league with certainty that I would hit the ball out of the park. There were very few things I was afraid of growing up, but I also didn’t see fear the same way I do now.
Growing up, I only saw fear in one dimension. Fear only existed when there was some physical thing that threatened my existence. Monsters, roller coasters, the dark. These were the things that frightened me as a child. Oh how times have changed.
Now as an adult, I have come to realize that fear takes many forms, most of which are of the nonphysical variety. It is not so much about fear of ghosts as it is fear of self. I have also come to realize that adults often experience more fear than their younger counterparts. This fear is more powerful and affects us on a far more serious scale.
So what happened that turned us all into a bunch of scaredy cats? Well from what I can gather, WE happened. We grew up. We learned to think in a more complex manner. We stopped focusing inward and took a look around us. Our ability to contemplate on a deeper level has deceived us. Our media has only fueled this fear by encouraging our irrational thoughts. Continue reading “Recognizing Fear and Transforming It Into Strength”
“That is your problem.”; “Stop complaining!”; “What are you going to do to fix it?”; “Figure it out yourself.”; “Stop bitching and fix it.”; “I don’t want to hear your problems.”; “Just do it.”; “What do you want me to do about it?”; “I didn’t make you feel anything, you’re the one being emotional.”; “Sounds like you just need to “man up”.”
All of these phrases I have heard throughout my life. Starting as a young child on the playground. Many of them I have heard in my relationships with others. Whether it was friendships, family, or romantic relationships. I heard many of these during my 8 year marriage.
In our culture there is this message that is being sent to little boys, who become grown men, about their feelings, emotions, their heart. The message is “real men don’t need feelings, emotions, or their heart.” Continue reading “Allowing Masculine Emotional Expression”
Written By: Jeff Craig
I want you to imagine right now that you are standing in an open room with white walls. Right in front of you stands a tall mirror. What do you see? What draws your attention? Do you recognize the person in front of you or do they appear as a stranger? The reflection in front of you is exactly who you are. It is literally a mirror copy of the physical manifestation of all that is you. There are no filters, no photoshop, no hiding. What you see in front of you is a raw and transparent embodiment of yourself.
A few years ago, I didn’t understand the concept of living a transparent life. I had grown up with the idea that in order to be accepted by others, I would need to adapt to my surroundings. I would need to change my behaviors to accommodate the expectations of others. I would need to show my best self and tuck my flaws safely away where no one could see them. Continue reading “The Freeing Power of Living Life Transparent”
Written By: Jeff Craig
No you are not on the wrong blog site. No this is not a home improvement article. Today I will be talking about two different ways men act in relationships and why one way is better than the other. I will be discussing what a floor mat is and what a door is in relation to men and how they behave in their relationships.
First, let me start out with a story. A client of mine came to be because he was looking for a long term, meaningful relationship with a woman. He explained to me that when he starts dating a woman, it appears that everything is going great. He takes them on fancy dates, he does romantic gestures, and they text each other all day long. But after a few weeks, the woman seems to back off. She is quiet on dates, she doesn’t seem impressed by the romantic gestures, and rarely responds to his text messages. Continue reading “The Difference Between a Floor Mat and a Door”