As I hammered into the heavy bag with my fists and feet, sweat pouring down my face in this raw, uncut gem of a gym I could see this young man out of the corner of my eye following suit. The bell rings time to rest. As we both relax before the next round of bag work. The young man asks me my age, I laugh and divulge. He has this puzzled look on his face, I am intrigued so I ask him, “What is with the confused look?”. He states how he thought I looked younger than that. Always a nice compliment to hear. We begin to talk and converse sharing little things about ourselves. Asking inquisitive questions of each other. Bell rings back to training. Continue reading ““No Man Is An Island””
“That is your problem.”; “Stop complaining!”; “What are you going to do to fix it?”; “Figure it out yourself.”; “Stop bitching and fix it.”; “I don’t want to hear your problems.”; “Just do it.”; “What do you want me to do about it?”; “I didn’t make you feel anything, you’re the one being emotional.”; “Sounds like you just need to “man up”.”
All of these phrases I have heard throughout my life. Starting as a young child on the playground. Many of them I have heard in my relationships with others. Whether it was friendships, family, or romantic relationships. I heard many of these during my 8 year marriage.
In our culture there is this message that is being sent to little boys, who become grown men, about their feelings, emotions, their heart. The message is “real men don’t need feelings, emotions, or their heart.” Continue reading “Allowing Masculine Emotional Expression”
Written by: John Glass
Boundary setting might be one of the most overlooked or abused parts in a relationship. They have been shown to be one of the most important parts of a relationship. According to Murray Bowen, a well-known psychologist, boundaries are essential for healthy relationships because without them dysfunction occurs. Continue reading “Where You End and Others Begin”
Written by: John Glass
I heard this story the other day. It went like this, “A speaker started his speech by presenting a 20 dollar bill. He asked the audience, “Who would like this money?” Almost everyone in the audience raised their hand. He then took that 20 dollar bill and crumpled it up. He asked the same question and received the same response. Next he proceeded to throw the bill on the floor and stomped on it again and again. He even smashed the bill with the toe of his show. He asked the same question again, “Who would like this 20 dollar bill?” A number of people still raised their hand.” Continue reading “There Is Value In All Of Us”
written by:John Glass
Masculinity was something I knew little about as a child. I grew up with a single mother and an absent father. The closest person in my family that embodied masculinity to me was my older brother.
The issue with my brother being my perspective of masculinity was that he was an angry, aggressive jerk. I told myself that I would never want to be like him. In my black or white thinking that meant that, I would need to be the exact opposite of him.
It is my belief that many of us men tend to choose the path of a passive man that allows many to use them as doormats or to become the aggressive man that pushes back with or without a reason. Continue reading “Self-Taught Ways of Manhood”
Written By: Jeff Craig
Recently, I read an article on EliteDaily.com entitled “Why Friends Who Are D*cks To Each Other Have The Strongest Friendships” (http://elitedaily.com/life/friends-dcks-are-the-greatest/1313596/) and I felt strongly compelled to share my perspective on this topic.
According to the article, men who insult or “poke fun” at their friends have stronger relationships than those who are not. I am curious where this research came from.
Personally, I found a wonderful article written by Amy Luckner, PhD., on Psychology Today that is backed by research (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201311/when-does-teasing-go-too-far). The article explains how some teasing, although good natured in intent, can often be received as negative by the person being teased. Often times, these negative experiences can lead to lowered self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and more. Seeing as this article is backed by empirical support, I would be left to believe all statements made on “Why Friends Who Are D*cks To Each Other Have The Strongest Friendships” are based solely on opinion and hold no legitimate ground. Continue reading “Don’t Be a D*ck to your Friends: It Leads to Meaningless Relationships”