It was the summer of 2000. I was driving to the continuation school that I had to attend in order to earn my general education diploma. You see I had failed my senior English class. Not because I did the work and failed, but because I stopped showing up for class.
As I was driving I was reflecting up my life. I was trying to define who I am as a person. Trying to figure out how I see myself. The question that we all try to answer, “Who am I?” Continue reading “Learning To Be Authentically Vulnerable”
“That is your problem.”; “Stop complaining!”; “What are you going to do to fix it?”; “Figure it out yourself.”; “Stop bitching and fix it.”; “I don’t want to hear your problems.”; “Just do it.”; “What do you want me to do about it?”; “I didn’t make you feel anything, you’re the one being emotional.”; “Sounds like you just need to “man up”.”
All of these phrases I have heard throughout my life. Starting as a young child on the playground. Many of them I have heard in my relationships with others. Whether it was friendships, family, or romantic relationships. I heard many of these during my 8 year marriage.
In our culture there is this message that is being sent to little boys, who become grown men, about their feelings, emotions, their heart. The message is “real men don’t need feelings, emotions, or their heart.” Continue reading “Allowing Masculine Emotional Expression”
Written by: John Glass
Boundary setting might be one of the most overlooked or abused parts in a relationship. They have been shown to be one of the most important parts of a relationship. According to Murray Bowen, a well-known psychologist, boundaries are essential for healthy relationships because without them dysfunction occurs. Continue reading “Where You End and Others Begin”
Written By: Jeff Craig
No you are not on the wrong blog site. No this is not a home improvement article. Today I will be talking about two different ways men act in relationships and why one way is better than the other. I will be discussing what a floor mat is and what a door is in relation to men and how they behave in their relationships.
First, let me start out with a story. A client of mine came to be because he was looking for a long term, meaningful relationship with a woman. He explained to me that when he starts dating a woman, it appears that everything is going great. He takes them on fancy dates, he does romantic gestures, and they text each other all day long. But after a few weeks, the woman seems to back off. She is quiet on dates, she doesn’t seem impressed by the romantic gestures, and rarely responds to his text messages. Continue reading “The Difference Between a Floor Mat and a Door”
Written by: John Glass
I heard this story the other day. It went like this, “A speaker started his speech by presenting a 20 dollar bill. He asked the audience, “Who would like this money?” Almost everyone in the audience raised their hand. He then took that 20 dollar bill and crumpled it up. He asked the same question and received the same response. Next he proceeded to throw the bill on the floor and stomped on it again and again. He even smashed the bill with the toe of his show. He asked the same question again, “Who would like this 20 dollar bill?” A number of people still raised their hand.” Continue reading “There Is Value In All Of Us”
Written by: Jeffery Craig
I have always admired couples and friends who have stuck together for long periods of time. The history they have built together, the memories they have shared, and the struggles that they have endured together serve as a testament of their bond. I used to believe that the longer you spent with a person, the stronger that bond was. I used to believe that long term relationships were a sign of strength and growth.
But I wondered are long-term friendships always good for a person? Do romantic relationships that last a long time indicate higher satisfaction? Is staying connected with certain people in our life always what’s best for us and our life? Continue reading “Some Bridges Need To Be Burned”
written by:John Glass
Masculinity was something I knew little about as a child. I grew up with a single mother and an absent father. The closest person in my family that embodied masculinity to me was my older brother.
The issue with my brother being my perspective of masculinity was that he was an angry, aggressive jerk. I told myself that I would never want to be like him. In my black or white thinking that meant that, I would need to be the exact opposite of him.
It is my belief that many of us men tend to choose the path of a passive man that allows many to use them as doormats or to become the aggressive man that pushes back with or without a reason. Continue reading “Self-Taught Ways of Manhood”