I want you to use your imagination for a minute. Imagine that you are at a coffee shop. You see an attractive person of interest sitting reading a book. Your mind begins to race with all the things you could possibly say to this person to get their attention. You work up the courage. You are feeling hyped and positive about this interaction. You walk up to her. She glances up and sees you. You greet her with a slight smile. She smiles back. You say, “Hi.” and introduce yourself. She says, “Hi, not interested.”
What feelings are coming up for you? What thoughts are coming up for you? What would you do?
Yes, this might sound like an extreme form of rejection, but I know this has happened to a number of us guys. Continue reading “Overcoming Sensitivity to Rejection”
It was the summer of 2000. I was driving to the continuation school that I had to attend in order to earn my general education diploma. You see I had failed my senior English class. Not because I did the work and failed, but because I stopped showing up for class.
As I was driving I was reflecting up my life. I was trying to define who I am as a person. Trying to figure out how I see myself. The question that we all try to answer, “Who am I?” Continue reading “Learning To Be Authentically Vulnerable”
Written by: Jeffrey Craig
As a kid, I was a lot more fearless than I gave myself credit for. I remember riding my bike off a 10-foot dirt ramp because it looked fun. I recall standing on a lunch table in front of my whole school and professing my love for my second grade crush. I remember going up to bat in little league with certainty that I would hit the ball out of the park. There were very few things I was afraid of growing up, but I also didn’t see fear the same way I do now.
Growing up, I only saw fear in one dimension. Fear only existed when there was some physical thing that threatened my existence. Monsters, roller coasters, the dark. These were the things that frightened me as a child. Oh how times have changed.
Now as an adult, I have come to realize that fear takes many forms, most of which are of the nonphysical variety. It is not so much about fear of ghosts as it is fear of self. I have also come to realize that adults often experience more fear than their younger counterparts. This fear is more powerful and affects us on a far more serious scale.
So what happened that turned us all into a bunch of scaredy cats? Well from what I can gather, WE happened. We grew up. We learned to think in a more complex manner. We stopped focusing inward and took a look around us. Our ability to contemplate on a deeper level has deceived us. Our media has only fueled this fear by encouraging our irrational thoughts. Continue reading “Recognizing Fear and Transforming It Into Strength”
Written by: Jeff Craig
We all had fears as children. I am sure if I asked you to name some, you would give me a laundry list of things that scared you.
For me, it was heights. I was never the kid to climb trees or jump off a high dive. I couldn’t even get on a roller coaster until I was about 15. The fear of plummeting to my death scared the living crap out of me.
As I got older, the fear of heights became less and less intense. Until eventually, I could hardly even feel anxiety anymore. Nowadays, I’m a thrill seeker, so it would not be uncommon to find me diving off a cliff or bungee jumping off a bridge. Continue reading “Overcoming My Fear Of Success”