written by: John Glass
The stoic man. This is defined as a man that shows little to no emotions during his life on Earth.
If you have seen the show Mad Men think “Donald Draper.” A man that has little to share with his wife or kids. He keeps his feelings buried deep inside for fear of being exposed or vulnerable.
Some may say that the stoic man is a man that is in control of his emotions. A man that is a rock. A man that can weather the bad times and keep his composure.
I do not disagree with this idea. I disagree with the idea that this is what a man strives to be.
I think we are called to be so much more than just a stoic man.
I find that there are others that agree with the needed change. Such as, I read an article recently in The NY Times titled 27 Ways To Be A Modern Man.
As I read the article, it felt more like the author was writing a satire, rather than listing solid traits of what a modern man is today.
It did get that hamster in my head spinning it’s wheel. The main question that came out of this was, “What traits does a modern man of today have?”
A modern man. A man of this century. A man living within our current society. This man is very different from “Donald Draper.”
I turned to the people, mostly people I know, in order to get this question answered.
After a few days of asking around, I compiled a list that describes what people see a modern man to be in today’s society.
Some of these may apply to you, some may not. It is a compiled list, not a list that defines men. It is not complete.
- The modern man has a survivalist instinct. If the electricity goes out he knows how to handle that situation.
- Modern man has the ability to be self-sustainable. He can be on his own or with others, makes little difference.
- Modern man has an adventurous spirit. He seeks that which he finds exciting. He is curious about the world.
- Modern man has a humbleness about him. He lets his actions speak for him.
- Modern man has integrity. He is rooted in his beliefs and values. His beliefs and values are in alignment with who he currently is and who he wants to be.
- Modern man has self-respect. He does not use self-deprecating humor to make others laugh because he respects himself too much.
- Modern man has boundaries for others. This allows him to know where he ends and others begin.
- Modern man is friendly. He greets with a smile and a firm yet gentle handshake. He can spark a conversation with anyone he crosses paths with.
- Modern man has empathy. He can experience the emotions of others. He can see situations from the perspective of others.
- Modern man has compassion. This goes along with empathy. He understands that life can be hard. That life can put some strong obstacles in the way of others.
- Modern man is forgiving. He can let go of past hurts whether the person is in their life or not.
- Modern man is goal-driven. He understands the importance of setting goals. Then striving to meet those goals in his life.
- Modern man is determined. He sets his goals and pushes himself to achieve these goals. He overcomes adversity with poise.
- Modern man has a sense of humor. He can laugh at the absurdities that occur in this life.
- Modern man is willing to expand his consciousness. He desires to never stop learning. Learning his strengths and weaknesses. Learning to improve himself regularly.
- Modern man is family oriented. He is willing to sacrifice his life for his children or spouse. He strives to raise his children to be the best versions of themselves they can be.
- Modern man allows himself to be vulnerable. He is willing to express his failures as much as his wins. He is able to be open and honest about his thoughts and feelings on particular beliefs, situations, or similar aspects.
- Modern man is stable. He has found that he is grounded in his state of mind and state of emotions. He has a high emotional intelligence.
- Modern man is passionate. He has a passion about things in his life that bring him enjoyment. He also has a passion that brings romance into his relationship.
- Modern man is present. He focuses on what is happening now in his life. Not on what has happened or what will happen.
- Modern man is aware. He is aware of how his actions and words affect those around him.
- Modern man says what he means and means what he says. He is firm in being the best version of himself he can be.
- Modern man takes risk. He is willing to ignore the consequences or rewards and just do it.
- Modern man is sincere. He does not try to manipulate or coerce people into what he wants.
- Modern man is a role model. He shows others what it is to be a modern man in today’s society.
As you read through this list I am sure there are items you identify with and maybe there are some you do not.
I ask you to take you time, reread this list, and add to this list. Ultimately, strive to live by such a list in your own life.
For me the most important item on this list was that a modern man is a role model that other men (children and adults) will look at and say, “I want to be like that man.”
originally posted on The Good Men Project